Welcome everyone to 2017, or already 3 months in to March. What a crazy beginning of 2017 I’ve had so far. This is definitely a year of changes from home, school and personal things going on in my life. Without the support I’ve been getting through my difficult times, I wouldn’t be where I am today. The late David Bowie wrote a great song called “Changes” and there’s a lyric in his song that struck me and something that I can truly relate to. “A million dead-end streets; And every time I thought I’d got it made;
It seemed the taste was not so sweet”

I think what that means to me is that no matter where you are in your life, there will ALWAYS be some dead ends and loopholes that you have to try getting out of and find the ones who can motivate and inspire you to do great things and keep you going strong. The ones who have done that to me recently are all the guys in Art of Dying: Cale Gontier, Cody Watkins, Jonny Hetherington, Tavis Stanley and Adam Gontier (cousin of Cale and in a kickass band Saint Asonia). I do have more to name but you know who you are. All of you have changed me in ways that I still can’t explain. You have opened me up to new horizons, told me that no matter what I’m going through to never quit, keep a strong head on my shoulders and always push away the negativity. I always found that music soothes the savage beast in all of us no matter what we need it for. I use music to escape, drown out my sorrows and worries and let it take me to places far away and just be.

I am going through the most difficult change right now going back to school after over 10 years and went into a trade program Hotel Reception back in September,2016 and I’m already 3/4 finshed. I had some hard times getting through a few modules and I wanted to give up entirely on it. Someone really close to me told me to never give up and finish what I started. I had my doubts and wanted to just run away from my problems and let someone else take care of them for a change. He said to me that he has faith in me to continue and he’s been inspired by me to go back to school and be something greater to make a better career out of it. I have now gathered up the courage and built up some strength to go all the way and see the “light at the end of the tunnel” which means school and to feel proud of my accomplishments.

My all-time favorite lyrics I love quoted by Art of Dying and Saint Asonia are “If it takes forever, I will DIE TRYING”; “If I can Get Thru This, I can Get Thru ANYTHING”;  “I am doing the Best I Can, with EVERYTHING I am, don’t you know NOBODY’S PERFECT” “I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but I can finally breathe again, Life’s too short, the day’s too long,In the end I knew it all along” and lastly “Let me live my life, I can go get my knife, or I can pull out the one that you stuck in my back”. 

All of these amazings lines have touched me in different ways. I mean come on, if you think logically, we all interpret what it means to us right? These amazing bands and artists are sending messages to their fans that there is nothing perfect in our worlds. We all screw up and we all have our flaws. I have not met one person who had everything handed to them on a silver platter and asked for more and had a perect life because there is no such thing as perfect. We all work hard for what we want and never give up until our time is up. Changes are either a great thing, or a bad thing, depends how you see it.

I, for one am now seeing my changes progress and I evolve every second of every day to make sure that I don’t get lost along the way and have my peers keep me grounded and secure. I don’t realize this enough but I take nothing for granted. I am a hard-working individual, I make mistakes, yes I worry at times about what my future holds, but that’s what makes me who I am. If we didn’t have doubts and worries in our lives, what would make us question things and have to search for answers? It would be too easy to have things given to you right? I know I wouldn’t like that since I am a strong-willed person who has the mind of a more mature person that I am now in my 30s.

If I didn’t have all this chaos going on right now, I would be very lost and be stuck wondering what would be going on in my life, had I not gone back to school, met some awesome people and start living the life I want to live and forget about everything bad thrown my way. People who have gotten to know me call me an inspiration and my words of wisdow have broaden their horizons to do great things. I don’t say it enough but THANK YOU for the ones who say it to me.

Lastly I want to leave you on this to think about. No matter what struggles you are all going through and think of going to the bottom and giving up on EVERYTHING, ask your self these questions, 1:Can you name one person at the top of you head who has made an impact on your life? 2:What was that impact/how did it affect your thoughts? 3: If you can tell that person some excellent words of wisdom that was passed on to you, what would you tell them?

I’ll leave this quote that I found perfect to end up this first blog of 2017. “Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.”


Out with 2016, In with 2017!

What a crazy 2016 I’ve had with so many ups and downs in my life. Where to begin is quite the challenge. So many things have happened that I have such a big reflection to look back on with people and places that have put such a huge impact on my life. The losses I’ve faced and the friendships I’ve gained has taught me that life is short and we should never take anything for granted, but to treasure every moment as if it were our last.

Back in June,2015, I have met the most amazingly talented Canadian band, Art of Dying, that I have now gotten to know personally, and each of the guys are the best thing that have happened to me as an individual. The Art of Dying IS MY LIFE TO LIVE! I was so mesmerized by their music I discovered and how down to earth they are as grown men who, once upon a time, started out as everyday Joes trying to survive on their jobs, until they started playing music for a living. Once a great friend of mine Jasmine told me to come meet them after their set, I was so shy because I’ve never met a band in my entire life. I’ve only seen their shows, bought a merch piece and went home and felt that “music adrenaline high” and spoke about it for a few days until it died down.

After meeting the first member, bass player Cale Gontier, I knew of him because he is related to his cousin Adam Gontier, formerly of Three Days Grace, and now with his awesome rock band Saint Asonia, and he started talking to me for a while and we got to know each other and he asked me what got me into music, so we exchanged some great inspirational words and I remember him telling me “no matter what you do in your life, make every second count, give it your all, never give up, ignore the negativity thrown your way, because at the end of the day, you’re your own critic that can make yourself happy and proud of the work you have accomplished, and if you’re still not satisfied, keep working your ass off until you have no strength in you and feel the urge to give up, but getting to know you, I know you won’t ever do that.”

Moving onto AOD guitarist Tavis Stanley, we had such a great conversation of music and how it’s changed people’s lives and Tavis asked me if I played any instruments, and I said the piano since I was 4 years old, and I have yet to learn the acoustic guitar, and that’s when I found out that he teaches Skype guitar lessons at the comfort of your own homes without going out anywhere, and at first, I wasn’t sure if he was just telling me this to sell me with it, or just letting me know and I would brush it off as a suggestion in the future. Well, almost a year later as of February.18th,2016 until present time, I am still going strong with my guitar lessons with Tavis and having the time of my life.

Onto the best singer known in my life and that I call my role model, Adam Gontier. Adam has been such a huge part of my life since I was 15 years old, and since he started out in Three Days Grace. I have been to every show of his and never missed a beat to every song he sung and was always lost in the moment. From what I can mention about him is that he has the biggest heart known to mankind that has given me the opportunity to open myself up to endless possibilities of everything that I was always afraid of doing and to not look back. On that note, I thought to myself, why not? I decided to go back to school after a 10 year hiatus, and I am in the midst of doing a trade program in Hotel Reception. I am already half-way done and have maybe 5 months max to finish and I am off to my new adventures in my 30s.I am truly blessed to have him be so proud of the littlest things I have done and made such a grown man smile and glow of happiness

I don’t know what kind of person I’d be had I not met many great people in my life who have done the smallest gestures to me and made such a huge impact and changed me for the better. First and foremost, I am happy to be still alive and well and I have a few people to thank.

#1: Adam Gontier, A HUGE THANK YOU for your constant support, the most heartfelt music you write that has touched my heart and gotten me so emotional that made a beautiful redheaded Canadian girl cry,  you have broken me out of my creative shell for writing so many inspirational words about what I am so passionate about and sharing it with others, and just being myself around others that I was once shy many years ago. I will NEVER stop following your music until the day you stop writing and creating such masterpieces that touch others hearts and lives. Adam you are such a huge inspiration to me that I would go to your former home town just to see you perform again and again in a heartbeat like I did on November.25th,2016 with my great friend Jasmine & company.

#2: Cale Gontier, it has been such  a great honor meeting you a few times the past 2 years (so far) and showing me that there’s more things in life than just what’s in front of you. You have opened me up to endless things that I was once afraid of learning and doing, that I had this fear that I would never have the courage to talk to great people such as yourself, Adam, the AOD guys and make this great kinship we have now built over the short years that just passed. I am beyond thrilled to bits to get to spend the entire day/night with you crazy Canadians on the road being a “roadie assistant, if you will” and feeling the experience of a lifetime what it’s like to be seeing what you men do on a daily basis on the road. There will for sure be some fond memories to remember, some great laughs and you never know what you will expect from me, so watch out Caley! 😛 It’s also been such a great honor being in your hometown of Peterborough,Ontario on November.25th,2016, driving for close to 14 hours in the past 2 days, having the best time of my life watching my idol Adam perform for a few hours, meeting your awesome family and hanging out with them and yourself for the night and having little sleep of 3 and going back home on a happy high!

#3: Tavis Stanley, I have had such a great 2 years getting to know you and learning some great acoustic guitar jams with you almost every week or so, giving me some “music homework”, putting a smile on my face, hearing me mess up and cuss in french (sorry for that haha) and improving during every lesson. Just letting you know that I am not giving up the lessons until I am able to show you and the guys what I’ve learned, but that will eventually  be #SOON lol. I love our crazy energy that we feed off each other and making me feel comfortable and when I finish, and getting that sense of accomplishment that I did such an amazing job and want more. “Roadie for the day” will definitely give me a sense of how much effort and energy you put into tuning the guitars, and everything else involved in it, so thank you for hinting to me to go for it and not turning back. I have yet to hang out with Jonny and finally meet Cody and getting to know him. It will surely be a fun time to never forget.

#4: Kathy, it’s been so fun getting to know you the past year and a half and hearing your spooky and funny stories you have shared with me and constantly making me laugh so much that my ribs hurt from laughing so hard. I would like to keep this friendship growing throughout the years if you will have me. It’s been great sharing our ghostly encounters and knowing that it’s alright to be scared because they can’t do no harm. I hope to have some fun talks with you in the near future and keep our friendship growing.

Last but not least, #5 Vera, I’ve shared some funniest laughs with my southern girl who keeps me up at night with the need to cry from laughing. You have the softest heart and no one should put you second when you are just trying to make things right in your life. All of us here have supported you through EVERYTHING you and all of us have been through in our lives and that will never change or end. Keep that beautiful smile you shine so bright, the funny “y’all’s” you tell us in your southern accent and then some, and don’t ever let that sparkle dull on us.



The World as I know it!

Ever wonder what marks our time here on earth and wonder what purpose we have? I ask myself that question all the time!

Someone close to my heart told me that whatever you want in life, make sure you work hard at it and you will see amazing results. There will be negative people trying to tear you apart and break down your walls, but at the end of the day, it’s your decision on what YOU want.

Fate has a funny way of playing tricks on your mind in trying on focusing on what’s in front of you. Life is short and we should live each day as if it were on purpose. Do what YOU want to do, take risks, just don’t get caught by law enforcement.

I have 2 important people close to my heart that have helped me break out of my shell and go after my dreams that I have been so scared to do so, but they have both been so supportive of me and telling me not to give up, no matter what.

I remember in my 20s that things would be so challenging in my life, and I would try to accomplish everything I set my heart to do before my 30s, and I’ve done a pretty great job at it so far. Now that my 20s are over and I am 30, I see things differently wherever I am, people I see, places I go, things I do, and I definitely see a huge change in how they all act towards me.

The only 2 passions I hold dear to my heart are music and creative writing. I can be in a room anywhere, close my eyes and I am in another world full of imagination and it’s awesome. I have been playing the acoustic guitar since mid-February until present time, and since I was always afraid to learn something new, I have had a great teacher, Tavis Stanley (from Art of Dying) teach me the ropes on doing songs we both love and taking a spin on some classic and blues tracks, which I am very fond of.

I’ve always been told that to succeed in something, you have to start from the bottom, and work your way up. Once you get to the top, the results will be endless and you will be a very happy person. For sure there will always be obstacles and challenges to face, but once you overcome all of your worries and fears that you have been keeping hidden inside, you won’t know what hit you between the eyes.

One of my mentors that I have looked up to growing up, has changed me in ways that I still can’t imagine. Every time when I would finish up my guitar lessons, I have always grabbed his attention and told him what happened; every time I had something on my mind or going on, he has always been there to give me support and say great words of wisdom.

My mentor told me on June 13th “I’m proud of you for making it this far. It takes a lot of love for music and determination as well.” Those heartfelt words came from my idol, Adam Gontier.

Every time Adam has told me he has written a new story, I would take the time to read it, brainstorm some ideas and thoughts and tell him what I think. It also gives me inspiration to write down some of my own ideas for my own writings and we feed off each other’s creativity.

Had I not been so creative in my life, I don’t know what type of person I’d become and what I would choose to do as a second choice of my hobbies. When professors at school asked their students what they wanted to be when they grow up, they always gave the same answers: doctors, lawyers, accountants, even therapists, but not many people mention anything in the creative fields, such as musicians, painters, audio techs in studios, photographers, sound techs for bands while out on tour, the list goes on.

If people were to open up their minds and see what else is out there in the world, instead of focusing on what they do in their everyday lives, they would stand a greater chance of being destined for greatness, no matter what they accomplish or how hard they put the effort into it.

So fellow readers and bloggers out there, I will leave you with a question to think about:

“If something or someone is holding you back from doing what YOU want to do, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?”