Why is Everything so HEAVY?

Ever heard the expression “Your emotions get the best/worst of you?” I’m sure you have and always wondered how you can control them to not go so far deep into a depression and scare off your loved ones. There’s a new song that I have now gotten attached to by Linkin Park called “Heavy” featuring Kiiara and that song talks about your deepest darkest inner-demons you battle and face all the time. Whether it be a loss of someone close to you, human or a pet; a fight with friends and family that lead you to breaking it off; a struggle in your daily life. You always have to remember that fear and depression are not the answer. Shed some light by speaking out to someone to get you out of the dark and into the light of happiness.

Depression is a cruel evil master that not only grips your mind and makes you doubt your sanity, but it takes your heart as well and makes you feel as if you are unworthy of good and pure love. What I’ve learned over the years is that you have to fight the darkness with the light and make sure that you don’t go down a dark path of hatred and guilt that someone could have saved you, and you turned your cheek and you chose to ignore them. Through the hardest times I’ve turned to others for help when I needed it the most and they helped me get out of the darkness and into the light.

I have been going through a lot of things in my personal life that have affected me deeply and it’s taken a toll on my health and emotional levels. I have had some attempts to go to my dark place and never wanting to get out. I have had some people being dishonest with me by not speaking about issues that I might have caused or brought up to their attention from my/their past and it has affected me deeply because that includes being open and trusting so we can keep the peace and live our lives on good terms.

If people were to let go of their bad sides and focus on the good, a lot of good can come out and they won’t have to fear that someone is out to get them and they can be at peace.  A dear friend of mine, Adam Gontier, once told me that it’s always best to find that one person who you can confide in to talk about your issues to show them that you are not alone in this world and that every human being and pet have their bad days. We are all in this together and we all have to realize that no one is perfect in this world.  We all go through things in our daily lives and struggle daily to stay alive.

I recently have had a loss in my family who has been with me for the past 14 years (my dog Lewis) and it has been the most difficult process I had to go through with my family. We didn’t want to see him suffer and it was time for him to be at peace and be with my other dog Kayla who passed away a few years ago. I am a pet lover and thankful to have been with these 2 and now my adorable cat Yoda who has been in my life for 3 years and fortunate enough to have bonded with Lewis.

I’ve always told myself that instead of turning to drugs and alcohol, I use my music and creative talents to good use, and I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to, and the end results are priceless. It’s hard for me to open up to new people at first, but once I’ve warmed up to them about a fun topic that I admire, I can strike up conversations and people have to stop me from talking so much. I’m not really into being with a large group of people, but show me any type of creative thing like music and anything artistic, I have my full attention and it’s such a heartfelt feeling to remember and put a smile on my face.

I guess what I’m tying to say is that no matter how life is and how hard things may get for you, make sure to pick up the pieces on the floor and sweep up the negative away forever, and people will see a huge change in your attitude and appearance. Trust me, going back to what I previously mentioned about things from my past experiences in my life I went through, I have gone through so much that I now know who I can trust completely and those that I can call my family and friends because we understand each other.

One day when I have the courage to fight my own battles, seek the light instead of darkness and I will be more at peace with myself. Instead of going to waste money on a therapist who thinks they know the answers to my problems, which they don’t, I rather put all my focus on my writing, music and devotion to those who want to see what goes on in my daily life. Writing about what I love and those who have helped me along the way are what get me by to be alive. I’m so honored and grateful to have such awesome people in my life that their names won’t matter because they have imprinted on my heart and thank you is not enough to say it to them.

My world is brighter and more beautiful because of all of you. The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention. LASTLY ONE FINAL THING TO SAY:

Thank you ALL for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever!!!

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